Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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