at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
