Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
