69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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