pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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