first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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