So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
