A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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