He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
