It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
