Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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