tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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