I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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