Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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