pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pooping to opera.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
