I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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