I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
