dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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