oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Randomize
