I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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