I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
