but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
