Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
