So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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