Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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