I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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