I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
