my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize