:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
