dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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