just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
