Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
