Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize