I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
