The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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