I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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