that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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