I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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