TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This house was built for laser tag.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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