sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
