Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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