id be glad to
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
