why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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