i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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