Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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