she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
