He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
