I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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