some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
