I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
