After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
