he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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