I need help removing her.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
