No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
