First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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