woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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