Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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