Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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