no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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