i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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