so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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