Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
