Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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