Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
