I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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