i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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