I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
