Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
