just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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