I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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